Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
(Feat, Andy's unsolicited advice.)
What are the things that make life, relationships, business and the big picture work?
Andy asks Sian, his wife, these big questions. And with a humorous, light-hearted touch, in 10-15 minutes they will discuss the things that really matter and find short answers to bring us all success and happiness.
Sian is a much sought-after international executive coach, board member and keynote speaker who promotes living and working a values-based life to gain happiness and success. Andy is her husband of 35 years, and the ying to her yang, So the conversation is honest, real and funny.
“I hope you'll be entertained. I hope you have a little smile. And I hope every now and again there will be a thought that you refilter in your head and think: Okay, that resonated.” - Sian Jaquet
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love
Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
Big Question | How do I know if I am a misogynist? Ep24
Ever wondered if your attitudes and behaviours might be crossing the line into misogyny? Join us for an eye-opening discussion where Sian Jaquet and Andy dissect the critical differences between misogyny and chauvinism. Misogyny isn't just a simple bias; it's a deep-seated hatred and contempt that actively seeks to demean and control women. On the other hand, chauvinism might endorse male supremacy but doesn't necessarily come with the same level of animosity. We also reflect on the societal shifts empowering women and stress the importance of challenging harmful behaviours, celebrating the progress made while acknowledging the work still needed for true gender equality.
In a refreshing Q&A session, Sian and Andy share personal anecdotes about the transformative power of living a value-based life. Andy reveals how Sian's online course profoundly impacted him, inviting listeners to explore these vital resources themselves. They underscore the necessity of examining one's values to lead a fulfilling life and encourage everyone to visit Sian’s website for more insights. Don't forget to subscribe and share the podcast, helping us spread these valuable lessons on personal growth and gender equality.
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love.
www.sianjaquet.com
Okay, this is. I think you'll enjoy this.
Speaker 2:You've got that. Look on your face. What are you about to say? Welcome to Big Questions. Short Answers I'm Sian.
Speaker 1:And I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life questions.
Speaker 2:And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited advice.
Speaker 1:This podcast is brought to you by shams value-based online course. Visit shanjakecom to find out more. How do I know if I'm a misogynist? Oh all right, yeah, blowing the gourd on the floor. So misogyny I know it's the word of the now as zegeist as they say misogyny, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm happy to get in there, yeah you want to get in there Before. I get in there, I'm asking you to explain to me why you're asking me the question.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's unfair.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:It's not how the game works, it's not. No, I just think that it's an interesting. It is something that is absolutely thrown about now in terms of misogyny, this, misogyny, that, and trying to kind of shape as to how do I know if I'm being a misogynist?
Speaker 2:First of all, I would accept that there are times in the privacy of our house when I will use that word, because I know it slaps you across the face and makes you stand there and it may be overplaying my card, yeah yeah, but in my defence I have never called you a misogynist. I say you sound like a misogynist, you know what I mean. I will use it because it does stop you in your tracks, right? It stops most men in their tracks, if I use that as a word. Again, all I can explain to you is how I see it.
Speaker 2:I am not an academic, I am not a clinical psychologist who has studied personalities where a misogynist is clearly in the frame for that kind of diagnosis actually A diagnosis. You know that a man is a misogynist when there is, you're looking at hatred, you are looking at contempt, you are looking for every opportunity to put a woman or a girl down that they have wellclass john, is like they've got this burning fear that a woman might be their equal or better or know something or feel something and they need to put you down yeah, but now there's misogyny where you can.
Speaker 1:You know you kick the elite I love the way you spit that word out. What mis Misogyny.
Speaker 2:That's a difficult word, isn't it? But there are other misogynists that I've come across, especially in leadership, men who really, really, really do not like women.
Speaker 1:Why? Well, again you'll need to go and speak to. I mean most misogyny Maybe, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Mummy issues, Female issues in their growing up. I don't know right or were they born.
Speaker 1:Is it just like a fundamental kind of dislike? Well, it's not a dislike of women, because I'm sure they'll.
Speaker 2:Well, you objectify them. You use women as a tool to entertain, to get your own jollies to put down in a public way, seeking to control women's behaviour.
Speaker 1:The question is how do I know if I'm a misogynist?
Speaker 2:Because there's a difference. Misogynists truly hate women. They stoke the fire of hating women. They are blamed. It is always women's fault. Yeah, because they've got an issue with the entire sex, from every level. Who you are, what you are, because you are a woman, I hate you and hate has to be fed. Again, world, according to sean right, you have to feed hatred a couple steps down, or maybe one step is a chauvinist right, the chauvinist is a misogynist, right, right, they believe that're a chauvinist, believes that he is, he has some supremacy over women, right, and that he has a right for dominance.
Speaker 2:Right but as Inchon said, a misogynist actively wants to hurt, destroy, put down because I hate you, and it never stops it never stops.
Speaker 1:Do you think this is an overused term? Because how many misogynists are? There's probably quite a lot of chauvinists.
Speaker 2:Well, again, it's age and stage and society and learning and all the rest of it. I don't know whether there are more misogynists than there were before. I don't know. I don't know whether there's more chauvinists. I think there are educated, more empowered. I mean, how many times have I said in these podcasts, you know, male or female, it's about finding your voice and it's about saying stop, that isn't right, that is hurting my feelings, and I know that sounds like a very basic things to say, but it doesn't matter whether you're five or 55. Whether you literally put your hand out and say to somebody in their face, stop, you are hurting my feelings, or whether it's a filter that you've got in your head. Actually, this needs to stop because it's hurting my feelings. Yeah, chauvinism has been culturally accepted. I mean, when I grew up, I've got to be fair.
Speaker 1:A lot of comedians made a lot of money from their chauvinistic jokes.
Speaker 2:But did people see that as chauvinistic? Because nobody thought there's anything wrong in putting women down, yeah, right, whereas I'm hoping we live in a world now where it does matter. And why does that? It's because we come out the kitchen, guys, yeah, yeah, and you can't pay the mortgage all on your own and you need me to have a job and you need me to bring up children and you need me to do all of these things. So there has become, and I think that mothers have taken on that responsibility as well.
Speaker 1:I'm incredibly proud of the mothers and the women I know who make it a fundamental part of their parenting skills and priority to empower women and to challenge men yeah, I would argue that misogyny is an overused term and chauvinism, whilst it's gone out of fashion, is probably a more realistic term, and misogyny is just a better word to spit out.
Speaker 2:Right. Do you want me to tell you the truth of what I really think when you say that?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think you just represent what a whole hell of a lot of men think, right, oh, the word misogyynist used too much, right, right.
Speaker 2:Because you don't like it Because it puts a spotlight on you. Well, it does. It doesn't mean that you're a misogynist, by the way, but it makes you think about yourselves, and so you're doing what you do, and I'm going to be brave enough to say a hell of a lot of men that I'm around do. Oh well, let's rubbish it and belittle it, because I don't want to be thinking about that, I don't want to be accused of that.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You're not a misogynist, because if you were, I wouldn't be married to you. Yeah Right, you do not hate women. I know you don't right, but there are men that do.
Speaker 1:But misogynists would say no, I love women.
Speaker 2:Would they?
Speaker 1:Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Have you ever met a misogynist? I don't think they're in my social circle. No really, but I have not knowingly met a misogynist.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure I'm qualified, I really am not qualified, to explain to you what it is, what it isn't. I think I and most women I know You've got a sick sense if you're in the presence of a misogynist, unless you were brought up by one and you're very old, bloody house full of it, or you live in a community where misogyny is actually allowed to thrive.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And then it becomes your normal. I think the word, I think what you're really trying to say is you're talking about chauvinism. You know that. Look at the jugs on her and all of that kind of revoltingness. Right, that's chauvinism, that's a sense of entitlement that I'm actually, of course, I'm allowed to say that yeah, and then you get the oh, and they're all so flaky because they challenge you. And no, I've heard you do it. I've heard you do it to Tani for night. Oh, it's just a phrase or it's just a word, but why?
Speaker 1:Because it's damaging, because it's belittling.
Speaker 2:Yes, and women have been belittled for so long, for so long, and that doesn't mean that there are men that aren't belittled, right? Yeah, I'm just saying that, you know, if we're looking at the scales of justice, men have had it better than we have for a hell of a long time and I think there's a redress, there's a rebalancing going on and any kind of change and redress is hard. You included, you know, and other men that I know and I love dearly, you know, all raise your eyebrows and no God, here they go again, picking me up because I've said that, saying that that was wrong on the television. Both me and your daughter, I am very proud to say do not let it pass, because we believe, and I've hopefully brought Tanith up to feeling be the same, which I know I have. I've seen her do it. Yeah, we won't let it go.
Speaker 2:I've hopefully brought Tanith up to feeling be the same, which I know I have. I've seen her do it. Yeah, we won't let it go. We don't drop the bar. I won't fight with you, I won't belittle you, I won't judge you, but I do.
Speaker 1:Oh, there's a little bit of judging. No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:I reserve the right to reflect to you. No, you are hurting my feelings, and you're hurting my feelings because that is a chauvinistic thing to say.
Speaker 1:So we have moved it a little bit on in terms of I think the wrong word. I think you chose that word, misogyny, and it is you know it is used much more now than I don't. I remember chauvinism being used, but that has gone Out of fashion and misogyny has moved in.
Speaker 2:What's the name of that Muppet I was? I know this is going out for public broadcast, otherwise I wouldn't be using the word Muppet. Anybody who knows me well would know I'd use a very different language. What's the name of that guy who does that podcast that was arrested and all the rest of it, that kind of? Anyway, I can't remember his name now. I don't want to remember his name. I certainly don't want to.
Speaker 1:He's got arrested.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's you see, we do have misogyny right, and there are men who are misogynists Right. Are there wall-to-wall misogynists? No, there aren't. There's a hell of a lot more chauvinists. But you know something? I actually have a very positive view on that. I think men are getting braver. I think they're having more confidence in having conversations. I think they are learning how to listen to the cause and effect of what you think is like boys' bantam. Let me give you a very real example. Four odd years ago, whenever it was when, just before the American election, when that news broke about what Trump had been saying about women, and there was the tape and you know, watching the news and thinking, all right, this is going to change things.
Speaker 1:And it never did.
Speaker 2:And within 24 hours it became blatantly obvious to me that is he a misogynist? Is he a chauvinist? You know I'm not a clinical psychologist. It's not my business to diagnose people In the world. According to Sian, absolutely that is chauvinistic, without a shadow of a doubt, that I'm confident.
Speaker 2:Is he a misogynist? Probably, because, if I'm honest, would I want to be in a room with that man on my own purely from that point of view, after him hearing, speaking and behaving, would I want my daughter to be anywhere near him? Every bit of my instinct would say no. Yeah, I have seen and met men who have that same visceral response to us and makes me feel like that, and I certainly again I know you've heard me say this in the past as a female and I'll even go as far as to say if you're a girl or a young woman or an older woman or whatever, we have hairs on the back of our neck for a reason, and if they start prickling because somebody is behaving or radiating something that is making the hairs on the back of your neck in that misogynistic, chauvinistic, yucky, vile way that men can do and respond to it, get out of there, use your instinct, because that's why we have it to protect ourselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, women have a great instinct. All right, and we will leave it there.
Speaker 2:You're not a misogynist, right? I don't think in any way, Jake. You don't think you don't think.
Speaker 1:I think we need to sell people.
Speaker 2:You're not. You love women. I know you do.
Speaker 1:I'm not. You love women. I'm not a misogynist.
Speaker 2:You're not a misogynist. All right, let's start that day Before we finish this, let me be clear you are not a misogynist.
Speaker 1:Thank goodness for that.
Speaker 2:Did you have when I first met you, some learnt behaviour that could be in the category of chauvinism? Yes, were you brave enough to listen to both me and your daughter beat you with a stick until you realised actually it's not OK to say that, no, it's not OK to make that comment, it's not OK to belittle a woman, even if I don't know her, through that lens of chauvinism. And I've actually got a lot of hope for the world. I don't think the world is anywhere, my world. Let me be clear. There are other places in the world where you've got entire countries in higher societies that are misogynistic. But I see quite a lot of hope in that space. I think that the world in the last 10 years, my world, has changed for the positive.
Speaker 1:Well, let's hope we can have more change. Yeah, Join us next time on Big Questions. Short Answers with Sian Jacquet and me, Andy.
Speaker 2:If you have any questions you want to ask, please send them via the website siansjacquetcom.
Speaker 1:If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and share it with everyone you know.
Speaker 2:We really do appreciate you sharing 15 minutes with us.
Speaker 1:And if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to Sian's website siansjackaycom. There's a course on values to create the life you truly love. I did it and it really does do what it says on the. Can See you next time.
