Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
(Feat, Andy's unsolicited advice.)
What are the things that make life, relationships, business and the big picture work?
Andy asks Sian, his wife, these big questions. And with a humorous, light-hearted touch, in 10-15 minutes they will discuss the things that really matter and find short answers to bring us all success and happiness.
Sian is a much sought-after international executive coach, board member and keynote speaker who promotes living and working a values-based life to gain happiness and success. Andy is her husband of 35 years, and the ying to her yang, So the conversation is honest, real and funny.
“I hope you'll be entertained. I hope you have a little smile. And I hope every now and again there will be a thought that you refilter in your head and think: Okay, that resonated.” - Sian Jaquet
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love
Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
Big Question | How do you avoid burnout? Ep23
How does overcommitting at work lead to burnout, and what can you do to prevent it? Join us as we unpack this critical issue, affecting a shocking 73% of workers. We kick off with Sian's eye-opening experience in Youth Justice, illustrating how the constant grind can result in chronic exhaustion and emotional instability. Discover why self-awareness and setting boundaries are essential, and learn the telltale signs of burnout. We’ll share practical tips on managing your workload, from having honest conversations with your manager to carving out time for self-care practices like meditation and exercise.
In our compelling segment of Big Questions. Short Answers., Sian Jaquet and Andy delve into the essence of life values for personal growth. Reflect on what truly matters to you and how to align your life accordingly. Sian offers a highly recommended course on her website that guides you in identifying these values, a resource endorsed by Andy. Don't forget to send in your questions via sianjacquet.com, and subscribe to our podcast to stay updated. Thank you for spending these insightful 15 minutes with us; we look forward to our next conversation.
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love.
www.sianjaquet.com
Hello, hello, hello, yeah. Well, this is working, but I can't hear myself.
Speaker 2:Well, that's not good to say. Welcome to Big Questions. Short Answers. I'm Sian.
Speaker 1:And I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life questions.
Speaker 2:And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited advice.
Speaker 1:This podcast is brought to you by Sian's value-based online course. Visit SianJackaycom to find out more. I've read this article and, apparently, according to this article, a survey found 73% of workers are reported from burnout, which is quite a worrying figure, I suppose. I mean, I only just used to do burnouts in the car when I was a bit younger. So I'm just wondering, you know, is this some kind of epidemic, is this something new? Because I don't remember being in the workforce and sufferings from burnout. So the question of today, the big question, is how do you avoid burnout?
Speaker 2:Well, what is it? Let's start with that.
Speaker 1:Okay, start with that.
Speaker 2:And I've got to be honest, it is afraid you hear a lot. I suppose that in my experience, when I'm kind of coming across people on my own self actually let's talk about me.
Speaker 1:Why don't?
Speaker 2:we, if you remember, a long, long time ago in Bethlehem, when I was working for Youth Justice, as we call it in New Zealand, but you know, working in adolescent prisons, whatever when I started doing that job I took on now I look back on it I took on a lot more than I should have done and I filled gaps and I compromised my own well-being by giving to work too much. Yeah, yeah. So I think that for myself, burnout looked like being incredibly tired. Sleep didn't fix the tiredness that. My head was stuck in a gear and work would be in my head all the time. I'd be thinking about it, worrying about it, just in a you know, it just never stopped.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think burnout is when you don't have good boundaries.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or good management.
Speaker 2:Well, good management in what way? Good management in the sense that you're not managing yourself.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And if you're talking about specifically, kind of that middle management, team leader, that kind of role, I think that the way to avoid it is to first of all have some self-awareness about yourself. When you're tired and when you've got a, first of all, have some self-awareness about yourself. Yeah, when you're tired and when you've got a lot of pressure, how do you respond? What, where's your go-to place? Yeah, and if you see yourself and you're beginning to recognize that you're exhausted, that you don't want to go to work, that problems become catastrophized, they all start becoming bigger than they really are, I think burnout is a very, very real thing.
Speaker 1:I mean stress leave at the moment is I mean I never used to have stress leave. I probably got stressed but never had stress leave. But that's the kind of I suppose.
Speaker 2:Well, that's not a bad thing, is it? I mean, I think we live in a world where some people are, for whatever reason, put under immense pressure for a reason, as long as it's got time boundaries yeah, again, you see you're using terms burnout, stress. If you want my honest opinion, your first port of call is to have some time to self-reflect. You know, what can I do, what can't I do in my work? Where are those boundaries and when do I need to found my voice, to speak to my line manager and to say this cannot be done in the time you need me to do, or taking on that responsibility. I don't have the skills or tools to be able to do it. Can you help me? Yeah, burnout and stress for me is when your work leaks into your personal life and you're unable to switch off and you, physically and emotionally, start responding to things in a way that you wouldn't normally. Yeah, but the art of it is to know yourself well enough to know that burnout is beginning to creep in.
Speaker 1:Is to know yourself well enough to know that burnout is beginning to creep in. One of the things, though, is that the people may not want to ask those questions, because obviously they want to feel that they can do the job and maybe they've got a promotion that is slightly beyond them, and they want to prove that they can do the job and they are afraid to go to their manager to say you know, I really need a bit of help on this, or I can't do in this timeline.
Speaker 2:I mean, I absolutely agree with you and I think that my understanding you know when I come across people who have suffered burnout, and it is a suffering, you know this is not some namsy-pamsy light thing. It seeps into your relationships, it seeps into your fundamental health and well-being. But burnout can be avoided by some self-awareness. You know that. That word of boundaries, yeah, so the kind of abc things is that when you're working in a fast-paced, dynamic place where there's lots of plates spinning in, what it is you're managing and doing, it's having a very clear space for you to decompress, relax, meditate, exercise, cook up a storm, whatever it is. That is your thing.
Speaker 1:I thought you weren't into bubble baths and all that.
Speaker 2:That's very different. There's nothing wrong with a bubble bath Nothing wrong with it at all if that's your thing. It's about not compromising your fundamental needs of looking after yourself and not being bullied and intimidated into not looking after yourself. Yeah, you know it's like go the extra mile and you believe that that's the right way to contribute in a work context, and I would never stop people from doing that, and you know I've managed people where I've asked them to go the extra mile, the extra 10 miles, but to keep yourself safe in that you need to know where your boundaries are, I mean come on.
Speaker 1:So what do you mean? What do you mean boundaries? What I mean explain a story or whatever about boundaries, or what.
Speaker 2:Well, you me, okay. Yeah, I was working in a secure unit, I'd done that whistleblowing. They were closing down the unit, they were giving me all these roles and responsibilities and, quite frankly, yeah, maybe at the time, the age and stage, I said yes to everything, was that because I felt I needed to? Was that because I felt I was the only person that could do it? Was I feeding my ego? I don't know. Probably all of the above, but I had three small kids at home and I was clocking in regularly 60 to 70 hours a week and I ended up being diagnosed with cancer.
Speaker 2:Now, did that happen by accident? I don't know. Yeah, did I push my body so far that my body started to say well, actually, if you won't stop, we're going to make you stop? I don't know. I'm not trying to make light of it, because it was a very serious thing, but when I look back on it now, this was 30 odd years ago. I did burn myself out, but I burnt myself out and I allowed it to happen. Right, and that's really what I'm trying to say here. Yeah, that we are all capable of burning ourselves out, but it's about what our fundamental beliefs are, about what is my role and responsibility here, and where does it begin and where does it finish? Yeah, I think sometimes youth enthusiasm, you know, develop your career or prove yourself that sometimes we overrev. Equally, there are a frightening number of organisations businesses, you know, call them what you want who do not have good leadership, and the people who are leading you have absolutely no interest in your well-being, they just want the job done at any cost and they will churn and burn.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think that there isn't. I mean, the obvious organisations to go to are like health police, you know teaching, you know you look at all of those, you know fundamental societal services.
Speaker 2:And money is tight and you know, governments come in and say you know, we've got to slash budgets, we've got to have less people to do what needs to be done. And I'm not making a political judgment. All I'm saying is that at the end of the day, all of those decisions, it comes down to a group of people who have got a role and responsibility and more often than not, they don't actually have the resources to do it in a safe and appropriate and consistent way. And so you lean in and you take on the extra job I mean when I think of social workers. You know working in cloud protection areas. You know, and you've got 30 odd files. You know how do you stop yourself from burning out, how do you stop yourself from worrying. Have I done the right thing? Am I following?
Speaker 2:the question how well. You need to have very clear boundaries, and the first way of doing it is I keep coming back to it it's your own self-awareness, because we're all different. Know, I've met some people who have the kind of resilience for pressure which is extraordinary to behold, yeah, and there are other people who find it much more difficult. But if there's a theme throughout all of this and it's certainly my life experience it's when I literally stopped and said right, okay, how do I respond? What is happening here? What can I do, what can't I do? And learn how to meet my own needs, because that's really what you're talking about.
Speaker 1:You're not going to get used to anybody, are you? If you're burnt out? And I suppose that's the simplest thing, isn't it In terms of what can I do? What can't I do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I would caution immediately. The first step is not to look at the organisation, because then you find excuses and you become negative about where you're working and how you're working.
Speaker 1:The first step is to look at yourself yes, oh right, so don't become a blame culture.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not about blaming other people and saying this is their fault.
Speaker 1:Obviously there's circumstances, whether it's a project that needs delivering or, you know, it's poor medical staff during COVID, I mean man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was burnout on every level.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And you could argue that you know you are fundamentally the master of your own life, aren't you? Yes, and it's about where do you say no? And it can be unpopular and it can be hard, and it can mean that the service won't be delivered as best way as it should be, but it's about not taking on that mantle. Yes, I am paid. This is my job, this is what I can do. Yes, I am paid. This is my job. This is what I can do. This is what I can't do.
Speaker 1:I know when I'm it sounds like a bit of a union work to rule kind of thing.
Speaker 2:No, no, no. What do you mean? What's the matter with unions? Don't start going down that road. The younger you are, the more likely you are not to be responsible for your own life, energy and understand what's expected of you. When you burn out, it's because you have given too much and you've not fundamentally met your own needs.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, and sometimes it means leaving the job and sometimes it means a very stern look at well, this is what I'm choosing to do with my life energy. It ain't going to work, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, pretty brave.
Speaker 2:Well, bravery to make that kind of change. Yes, it does take courage to make that kind of change, but if you're a whole and healthy adult, the world, according to Sian, says that it starts with you being responsible for you.
Speaker 1:And I think that's a very good place to leave it. Ok, you being responsible for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but before you finish let me be very clear. Burnout is not a light and fluffy oh my God, you know all these youngsters talking about burnout. It is a very, very, very real thing. When it happens, it is not an easy thing to come back from because, both physically and emotionally, the result is that you are beaten up, yeah, and your confidence and your sense of self all of that starts draining away. Burnout is a very dangerous place to get yourself to. It's not a light and fluffy thing by any stretch of the imagination.
Speaker 1:To end on a positive, because I like to end on positives.
Speaker 2:Work out who you are at your best, who you are at your worst, and have a filter of well, okay, so it's been two weeks when I've not been able to sleep properly. Ok, I haven't done that. What is it? Let's say it's going to the gym or yoga class or whatever it is. I haven't been able to do that for the last six weeks because, of work commitment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it starts with those things and it starts with the courage and the confidence to say no. Going to that yoga class is not a nice to have fluffy bit of something I do. I do that to recharge my batteries, to balance me, to make me feel whole and healthy, because then I'm fit the purpose to walk in and do my job. Yeah, it's about not compromising that stuff, looking after yourself and prioritising yourself, because I don't know many workplaces that are going to prioritise you better than you can do it yourself.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, thanks very much. Join us next time on Big Questions. Short Answers with Sian Jacquet and me, andy.
Speaker 2:If you have any questions you want to ask, please send them via the website sianjacquetcom.
Speaker 1:If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and share it with everyone you know.
Speaker 2:We really do appreciate you sharing 15 minutes with us.
Speaker 1:And if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to Sian's website sianjacquetcom. There's a course on values to create the life you truly love. I did it and it really does do what it says on the. Can See you next time.
