Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
(Feat, Andy's unsolicited advice.)
What are the things that make life, relationships, business and the big picture work?
Andy asks Sian, his wife, these big questions. And with a humorous, light-hearted touch, in 10-15 minutes they will discuss the things that really matter and find short answers to bring us all success and happiness.
Sian is a much sought-after international executive coach, board member and keynote speaker who promotes living and working a values-based life to gain happiness and success. Andy is her husband of 35 years, and the ying to her yang, So the conversation is honest, real and funny.
“I hope you'll be entertained. I hope you have a little smile. And I hope every now and again there will be a thought that you refilter in your head and think: Okay, that resonated.” - Sian Jaquet
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love
Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
Big Question | How to focus on positive family dynamics? Ep21
Can family gatherings really be harmonious, even with a history of dramatic interactions? Join us as Andy and I, Sian, recount a sunny Sunday family gathering that exceeded our expectations. Andy opens up about his initial doubts and fears of potential conflicts, while I paint a picture of the day filled with cherished "Kodak moments." We dive into the delicate balance of managing negative expectations and savouring positive experiences, highlighting how shifting perspectives can make a world of difference. Whether your family is full of strong personalities or not, there's a lesson in finding joy and connection amidst it all.
Looking to amplify your personal growth journey? We’ve got you covered. Andy shares his transformative experience with Sian's values course Create The Life You Truly Love, which he found immensely enriching. We'll also encourage you to send in your questions through my website, share the podcast with friends, and subscribe for more insightful content. As we wrap up this heartfelt episode, we extend our deepest gratitude for your listenership and invite you to continue your learning journey with us. Don't miss out on this blend of personal reflections and practical recommendations!
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love.
www.sianjaquet.com
You need a little bit of a ditty at the front.
Speaker 2:This is left field, but I want to talk about Sunday. Invite the family round. Okay, Welcome to Big Questions. Short Answers. I'm Sian.
Speaker 1:And I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life questions.
Speaker 2:And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited advice.
Speaker 1:Maybe this podcast is brought to you by Sian's value-based online course. Visit sianjackeycom to find out more. A slight diversion we're actually going to talk about our family, which is always a bit dangerous, but actually this is a good part of it which happened on Sunday, and I know you wanted to talk about it, because whenever we get the kids together we've got three kids they're all, thankfully, not living with us anymore. They're in their early 30s and we see them. Of course, we see them on a regular bit, but they all came round on Sunday with some other friends of ours as well. There's always a little bit of expectation of what shit's going to go down or who's not going to play.
Speaker 2:Are you saying that? That's how it makes you feel when they're all coming around, that there's a part of you that thinks, oh my god. Well, when is this gonna you know who's gonna kick off, who's gonna be in a mood, who's gonna contribute? I don't know. I'm asking do you actually think that before they arrive?
Speaker 1:well, this is. You know. You know this family deals with drama, so there's always potentially something. You know, what mood are they gonna be in? Because, uh, when you have three kids, I don't know what happens. Is it just because you have three kids but like all of a sudden it like one of them's going to be off? And it is a kind of a worry when you have events like that. I mean, it was lovely. I loved being in the garden, it was a beautiful sunny day, it was gorgeous, but there's always that.
Speaker 2:Did something happen that I wasn't aware of on Sunday, because I've got completely the opposite view of Sunday. I thought Sunday was one of those moments that I I call them my kodak moments yeah yeah, and anybody who's not as old as I probably doesn't know what kodak is. It was a massive international company that did photographs and they did the film that you took photographs with in the ye olden days.
Speaker 1:Um and taking a picture is that and I take a Kodak moment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that I. On Sunday I took a couple of Kodak moments of oh my god, they're all in good mood, they're all here because they want to be, they're all contributing to really lovely conversations. They have all, at different times, contributed yes in an adult, mature, fabulous way yeah and yeah, for me it was a sunday of codec moments and I think that it's interesting. I mean, of course, you're bloody right. There are times when I was so nervous you know who's going to kick off that one's vulnerable.
Speaker 2:Well, whatever you know, any parent that's listening to this knows exactly what I'm talking about yeah but what I want to highlight is that just be careful that you don't entrench a belief that once all the families together, there's always fighting, there's always a horrible time, there's always an atmosphere, there's always. It never ends. Well, you know that.
Speaker 1:Never and always, yeah, conversation yeah, we were talking about negative beliefs yeah.
Speaker 2:So what I want to do is just suggest that just make sure you just check yourself, yeah, and that when it is good, you put thought to that as well. Yeah, because all I know is and I'm can be blatant as much as anybody else we tend to be able to see the negative and highlight the negative and put a bonfire under the bed.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah but, we don't actually stop and acknowledge the positive, put sunshine and spangles around it and acknowledge that it's happening yeah yeah, um, and I literally in a little bit of a clunky way, but I did that that on the Sunday, when we were all sitting out there, there was a moment or two when I just withdrew. I looked at it, took my Kodak picture and thought to myself there is hope.
Speaker 1:There is hope.
Speaker 2:That we will not be a dysfunctional crazy family, but actually wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah are quite. We have been quite loud. There's a lot of assertive people in the family.
Speaker 2:Put it that way you may have been loud. I can't remember any time I've been loud you must be joking, um.
Speaker 1:You know we, we have three very uh, confident, assertive kids, um, who all like to know their opinions heard, not necessarily agreeing with us, but, yes, absolutely, and you do. It is You're in this. I suppose you're in this kind of fright or flight mode, is it? And I think you know we're harking back to COVID and nobody wants to talk about that again. But you know, we actually lived with our three kids at that time and that was a very, very, very dense time. But there is that kind of you have that in yourself where you think something's going to go wrong.
Speaker 1:And if you think something's going to go, wrong and if you think something's going to go wrong, what happens?
Speaker 2:well, that's yeah, you know it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, but equally, let's not turn this into a bubble conversation. You know there are people that do have aggressive. You know the dial.
Speaker 2:You know like I like everything on a bell curve yeah you know, there are people who do have abusive, seriously hardcore families where it is actually not safe to walk through the door. So preparing yourself for that is equally as important. But all I'm suggesting is, in a nice way, just try and find a little bit of headspace, shuffle around the perspective and see it from a different way and allow the sunshine to come in. So one of the things I say to people who are digging this hole of negativity everything's bad, everything. There have been times in my life and your life where you get there, you just you know you can't see any sunshine at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, there are people all over the world as we speak having a little think to themselves when they clean their teeth, that's what I suggest you do when you clean your teeth, and I at the moment, I'm going through a gratitude between high teeth and blindings, because it's something I always do. Yeah, um it's something I always do. It's something that takes, you know, it's two minutes or whatever it is, and in that time I focus on acknowledging three things that I'm proud, pleased, whatever that I achieved.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it doesn't have to be monumental. You know I didn't solve world peace by five o'clock, right, it's not that kind of thing.
Speaker 1:I think you're exactly the person to be able to do that.
Speaker 2:Oh, darling Bullshit. My point is that I know it sounds so simple it's not even worth stopping and thinking about, but I can absolutely categorically guarantee if you start a regular time, do you just take a couple of minutes of thinking about good things? Um, and there's a reason why I do it at night, because I think that it take it, tips my head space into a positive space. About sean, I feel good about being me. Um, you know, my thoughts as I'm going to bed are in a positive place yeah, I mean it doesn't work all the time.
Speaker 2:It's not some kind of, you know, major mind manipulation, but after a while you start thinking about it.
Speaker 1:I mean I started by saying your three things that you thought about yesterday. Yeah, yeah, well, about the, you know the weekend, yeah.
Speaker 2:But on Sunday night, I mean, obviously it was that we'd had a really lovely day with the kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that everybody was in a good space and it was lovely.
Speaker 1:The lasagna was good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I was really happy that when I got up in the morning and made lasagna you know there was a dish that would have fed everybody and lovely. I made double the amount because I wanted everybody to go home with their lunch and stuff for tomorrow and I loved that yeah I loved watching people walking out the front door with their brown paper carrier bags, with their goody bags.
Speaker 2:It made me feel good, made me feel like a good mother, made me feel like I was a good human being and you made it with your mother's dish yeah, I did. Let's go down that road because she made me cry yeah yeah, it was.
Speaker 2:That's the kind of thing. Yeah, it's not necessarily monumentally huge. Uh, you know I've moved the dial on the civilization. Yeah, um, it's much more about acknowledging what you are proud of, achieving what you're pleased, and just having the ability to capture those positive thoughts, because most of us are. You know, we're experts at being negative yeah, life is.
Speaker 1:Life is pretty bloody challenging, isn't it? I mean, you've got to get up in the morning, you've got to make a living, you've got to put money in, you've got to pay bills. You've got to do this. You know the what's ever happened to the kids? And especially when you've got kids all of a sudden and a partner, you're no longer just worrying about yourself, you're worrying about you. Know everybody else. I'm a nervous wreck. I need botox. Probably you can talk about the benefits of botox at a later episode, but it's. It's. Yes, you're right in terms of having those moments of gratitude.
Speaker 2:You can be quite negative.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you can be negative. Well, that's a Jewish background isn't it really?
Speaker 2:And we've got one son well, both of them at times, but who also have that personality, that ladle of negativity that you have.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Boom and bum, bum, bum, bling and oomph. It's going to put a bad word in the middle there. But yeah, you can camp out there.
Speaker 1:But most of the time I have a very positive frame of mind in terms of being really thankful about everything, and obviously you know always wanting more, but that's, I don't know what that's about. But you're right try to be thankful for just that moment, because modern day living's not easy. Looking at it well, I think then why?
Speaker 2:what have I done now? I want you to go back to share with me when you are in a negative space. What's it like? How do you know you're in a negative space?
Speaker 1:oh, well, obviously, life becomes a lot, a lot harder, doesn't it? I mean, and I still think that it's a case of sometimes you just have to flick, I mean, as long as you don't have any, you know mental issues, but like you have uh, you know what I mean. Like, like you know words matter andy yeah, okay, they do matter, so long as you don't have some condition that is affecting your personality. Uh, the idea that if you can move yourself into a more positive space, life becomes a little bit easier, isn't it?
Speaker 2:you know, tracks become a little bit easier to well, yes, but all we can do for ourselves and for the people around us, whatever those relationships would be, is you can offer a step forward yes in plenty of having positive thoughts.
Speaker 2:Go for a walk and acknowledge the sunshine, yeah, smell the flowers, you know all of that stuff. But in isolation, when you do it once, it's unlikely to massively change the dial. It's about a way of being, yeah, yeah, and you need to practice it. You need to practice that gratitude and that acknowledgement, yeah, that you find those moments to look at life in a positive way. It's not going to happen by accident. You've got to practice it and learn to massage that muscle of gratitude and acknowledgement that there is sunshine. Beautiful, what me? The words that are coming out of my mouth, yeah, Join us next time on Big Questions.
Speaker 1:Short Answers with Sian Jacquet and me, andy.
Speaker 2:If you have any questions you want to ask, please send them via the website siansjacquetcom.
Speaker 1:If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and share it with everyone you know.
Speaker 2:We really do appreciate you sharing 15 minutes with us.
Speaker 1:And if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to Charles' website charlesjackaycom. There's a course on values to create life you truly love. I did it and it really does do what it says on the can.
Speaker 2:See you next time.
