Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
(Feat, Andy's unsolicited advice.)
What are the things that make life, relationships, business and the big picture work?
Andy asks Sian, his wife, these big questions. And with a humorous, light-hearted touch, in 10-15 minutes they will discuss the things that really matter and find short answers to bring us all success and happiness.
Sian is a much sought-after international executive coach, board member and keynote speaker who promotes living and working a values-based life to gain happiness and success. Andy is her husband of 35 years, and the ying to her yang, So the conversation is honest, real and funny.
“I hope you'll be entertained. I hope you have a little smile. And I hope every now and again there will be a thought that you refilter in your head and think: Okay, that resonated.” - Sian Jaquet
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love
Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
Big Question | How do you build confidence? Ep 11
Ever wondered if those who seem confident actually have it all figured out? Join us as we uncover the truth in our latest episode of Big Questions, Short Answers. Sian opens up about her journey through self-doubt and her techniques for cultivating genuine confidence. From growing up in a musically vibrant family to recognizing the value of daily choices, Sian shares how experiences and upbringing converge to build the foundation of self-assuredness. Through heartfelt anecdotes and practical advice, this episode reveals that confidence is not just about stage presence but also about embracing life with a positive mindset.
Listen as Sian and Andy dissect the nuances of confidence, exploring its roots in values, beliefs, and personal wisdom. They discuss the importance of waking up each day with the intention to make it a good one, regardless of past setbacks. Whether you're looking to boost your everyday confidence or just curious about how others manage their self-doubt, this conversation offers valuable insights and tips. Tune in for a compelling discussion that promises to leave you inspired and ready to face the world with a fresh perspective on confidence.
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love.
www.sianjaquet.com
So we've got the dog with us today, rather than the barking in the back. Here we go.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Big Questions. Short Answers. I'm Sian.
Speaker 1:Hello, I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life questions.
Speaker 2:And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited advice.
Speaker 1:Maybe this podcast is brought to you by Sian's value-based online course. Visit sianjackeycom to find out more. One of the things I think that we should talk about is confidence Lack of it, building confidence. We've just read a little bit of a thing which is a horoscope, which is an odd thing for me to do, and it says some nice things about today and all the rest of it, and all of a sudden, I feel better because I talked about today and all the rest of it, and all of a sudden, I feel better because I talked about today being a good day for confidence. So I just want to talk about confidence, really about building it and how you maintain it. I suppose.
Speaker 2:Okay. Well, let's start with the premise. Why are you asking me? Do I look like somebody who's confident? Do I is? Is it? Why are you asking me? And?
Speaker 1:well, because, yes, I think most people think you're a very confident person.
Speaker 2:Well, there you go. That's the answer, because the ninth Is that it Jerry, Stop now. Most of us fake it till we make it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you can't be faking it after you know 60 years, but you are.
Speaker 2:Because I still question myself. I still, in the moment, think am I good enough? Can I do this? Now I think I've learned that that actually is a good thing. That's managing my ego. That's ensuring that I am performing and I am delivering at a level that I choose. Yes, confidence, it's a convergence. It's where some of your values and your beliefs all meet each other.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah and it and it creates, like um, a solid foundation for whatever it is you're thinking or doing or anticipate. You know what I mean it it it's when experience and wisdom comes together. Now we've all seen clips of youngsters like five, six, seven years of age I don't know play the piano beautifully or stand up and sing a song, and we look at them and we think, wow, how did those kids have the confidence to do that? Ah, yeah, well, that kind of confidence is taught and learnt by the people around you because you don't feel foolish. So let's give a real example from my life. Right, you know the family I come from and music and singing is a fundamental. You know it's an ABC. Put three of my family together, three, two, and you've got a concert. Yeah, put five of them together, you've got harmonising choir.
Speaker 2:So all of my life I knew no different. And when there were gatherings at some point, it didn't have to be an alcohol, sodden, raging party, it would be a cup of tea and a bun. But if there was a whole group of us at some point, somebody would start singing or be asked to sing. So that belief of standing on stage and singing didn't equate to vulnerability in my head as a child it equated to contribution, yeah, and you actually wanted to be part of it. So that kind of confidence was learned behavior. The kind of confidence I think you're talking about is not kind of the stage confidence or to find your voice confidence. I think you're asking me about that confidence that you can wake up most days and think, yeah, I'm going to get the best out of today and I'm going to make a good job of living my life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, exactly Exactly that. Boost that all of us, I think.
Speaker 2:Well, again, the older I get, the more I simplify all of this. I mean, for 20 years I've read books, talked to people, watched, listened, tried to absorb everything to tell me about this confidence thing, and what I actually come down to is the moment you wake up in the morning, you learn to choose. This is going to be a good day. Yesterday was yesterday, I can't change any of that. But today, this and this to be a good day. Yesterday was yesterday, I can't change any of that. But today, this and this I can do right, and it can start with very simple things. Again, use me as an example. After 30 odd years of you and I knowing each other right, we know we can stab a really good guess within the first 20 minutes of the morning as to where either of us are lying when we open our eyes. And I know that. You know that if I don't jump out of bed or actually literally engage with the day immediately, the chances are Sian's got something on her mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because that's how I roll. I stutter, if you like, with stepping into the day if I've got worries on my shoulders or I'm not confident about what it is I've got to do and how I've got to behave.
Speaker 2:And you can't move forward with confidence on that day because of these yeah so it's about making a conscious decision and in some ways, tricking the mind, yeah, and on really challenging days in my life and I mean seriously grown up challenging days, the other thing I would throw in there that is an incredible support, even though I still don't totally understand it is affirmations that you know if you've got a really tough day, you make sure that you've got a few seconds and you remind yourself. You know, like post-it notes on your visor and your card and in your purse and whatever, to just remind you, to trick the mind or to remind yourself, yeah, that things aren't that bad and you're actually doing quite well yeah, yeah, um, I mean because the other side of it is if you, if you, if you stay down in the dumps, you're not going to move forward.
Speaker 1:I, I mean, and sometimes you may feel like you want to.
Speaker 2:You see, I feel so much buggering around you say things and it's like you know, sometimes you're down in the dumps, and I'm aware, I'm aware of the fact that, even listening to this now, there is a big difference between being down in the dumps and having some form of mental health challenges, because that confidence to wake up in the morning and face the day is a very, very, very, very, very hard thing to do. If you have anxiety or if you have some mental health challenges, you know there are certain flavors of mental health that that makes it incredibly difficult. So I know you didn't mean to not be inclusive, but I can't help it and I have to say that not everybody is the same. If it was as easy as you know, give yourself a kick up the arse, think of something positive and spring out of bed, yeah great, but it isn't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your confidence is a marker, isn't it, of how well you think you're doing, because when you are confident and you do something, it feeds your soul, it gives you a quality of of energy for me anyway. But it's not easy to sustain and sometimes it's a very elusive thing to grab hold of. I mean, I am a great advocate of fake it till you make it, I mean, and I think that that is an absolute truth. You need to learn a technique to present a confidence, even if, behind it, your little feet are going a million to a dozen under the waterline, which is a place I've been many, many times in my life that learning to find a way to project a confidence is important and, I think, one of the most obvious places in leadership. You know there are times when you need to show confidence. The people around you need to know that you have a confidence and you're across this or you're aware.
Speaker 1:I mean, as a CEO, you can't just walk into the office and just be oh shit day, I don't really give a shit, do whatever you want. I'm buggered, I mean. You know what I mean. You've got to present yourself at that stage and everybody should really, shouldn't they when they work?
Speaker 2:Well, absolutely. I mean, I think that again it's difficult, isn't it? Because, as you say these things and we're making big picture statements I go down to minutiae, really of a situation or whatever but essentially, if you are the leader of people, of an organization in any way, shape or form, it's no different than being a parent. It's no bit different. That's a ceo role, um, and it's a joint ceo role if you've got two parents and if you haven't, and God love you, you're doing it all on your own.
Speaker 2:You know, confidence is human. Beings like it, they like being around confident people. They like making decisions and creating beliefs with confidence, and that comes from being around people that are confident. I mean, there's a dark side to this as well. I mean, you've got people who are very confident and who can project information and can project beliefs around, and the way in which they see things in such a confident way that it does it attracts people to it. But unless those people have got an amodicum of the ability to have a critical thinking, they end up being lemmings. I mean, I'm just anyway, you know exactly what I'm thinking about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, from a political point of view, yeah, and a social point of view and a religious point of view. I mean, again, I see people follow leaders, be it in faith, politics, whatever, and I roll my eyes and I think but that person is that it's proven that this is who and what they are.
Speaker 1:But it's that confidence thing, it's that confidence, isn't it.
Speaker 2:That it's like you know. It's like a magnet. Human beings want to be very much attracted to a confidence so we're going to have to.
Speaker 1:These are short bursts of information and chat. People walking away from here, just get a little bit of a boost. What's your tip? You?
Speaker 2:can learn to be confident. If you believe that you're not, that may well be true. I'm not going to challenge your belief, right. But there are ways that you can learn to be confident. If you believe that you're not, that may well be true. I'm not going to challenge your belief, right. But there are ways that you can learn to be confident. But it is not press the green button and it can happen overnight. Yeah, Like most things, it's teaspoon at a time, and it's about training your mind to seek and to see and to actually evaluate what feeling confident means to you because a lot of people are kind of like, kind of beholden to their beliefs why they can't do something, and that's why absolutely.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean and and it's because you've been told or you've had evidence of it. One One of the most basic examples is, as I was explaining to you as a child, performing and standing up in front of people, which I believe research will tell you is the most terrifying thing any human being can do stand up and speak or sing in front of an audience. To me, I don't get frightened in those situations, I get nervous, I get stage fright. I'm not a lunatic, but it doesn't Turn my bowels to liquid. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Because your belief is coming from a Because I've seen it all my life.
Speaker 1:And your belief is coming from a position of contribution, as you said.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's about contribution and I want to do this because that's what everybody does to be part of the community in the moment.
Speaker 1:Well, we're going to have to leave it there, all right, but that's really good, all right, I feel better already. You're a muppet. Join us next time on Big Questions. Short Answers with Sian Jacquet and me, andy.
Speaker 2:If you have any questions you want to ask, please send them via the website siansjacquetcom.
Speaker 1:If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and share it with everyone you know.
Speaker 2:We really do appreciate you sharing 15 minutes with us.
Speaker 1:And if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to Sian's website, siiansjackaycom. There's a course on values to create the life you truly love. I did it and it really does do what it says on the can See you next time. You, you, you, you, you.
