Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
(Feat, Andy's unsolicited advice.)
What are the things that make life, relationships, business and the big picture work?
Andy asks Sian, his wife, these big questions. And with a humorous, light-hearted touch, in 10-15 minutes they will discuss the things that really matter and find short answers to bring us all success and happiness.
Sian is a much sought-after international executive coach, board member and keynote speaker who promotes living and working a values-based life to gain happiness and success. Andy is her husband of 35 years, and the ying to her yang, So the conversation is honest, real and funny.
“I hope you'll be entertained. I hope you have a little smile. And I hope every now and again there will be a thought that you refilter in your head and think: Okay, that resonated.” - Sian Jaquet
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love
Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
Big Question | How does active listening impact leadership? Ep17
Can failing to actively listen truly erode trust and disengage younger employees? Discover why being fully present in conversations can transform your relationships and leadership style. In this episode of "Big Questions, Short Answers," we discuss the critical role of active listening in various settings, from personal connections to managerial interactions. Learn how taking a moment to clear your headspace can lead to better communication and problem-solving. We share a personal story that underscores how the failure to listen can result in distrust and disengagement, particularly among the younger workforce. True leadership is about making your team feel heard, and we explore practical ways to achieve this.
Join us, Sian Jaquet and Andy, as we tackle life's big questions in a concise, impactful 15-minute format. Submit your queries on Sian's website, sianjaquet.com, and don't forget to subscribe and share our podcast if you enjoy these thought-provoking discussions. For listeners eager to deepen their understanding of values, we highly recommend Sian's transformative course available at sianjaquet.com, which has been life-changing for me. Tune in and enhance your perspective on life and relationships through our engaging and meaningful conversations.
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love.
www.sianjaquet.com
Right, I'm going to be present in this one.
Speaker 2:Smart house. Welcome to Big Questions, Short Answers. I'm Sian.
Speaker 1:And I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life questions.
Speaker 2:And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited advice.
Speaker 1:This podcast is brought to you by Sian's value-based online course. Visit SianJackaycom to find out more. Okay, in the last conversation we had, we were talking about being present in a relationship, but actually being present in a relationship, what we can talk about is actually all relationships really like from a business perspective and from a management perspective as well, or just from a even if you're managing up in terms of those conversations you need to have with a manager, or indeed, you are the manager and you're having conversations with your, your staff. So we talked about trying to frame those conversations as well. I would like to talk about trying to frame those conversations as well, because I think, especially today, when it's like people don't have time and also people are very Well, you do actually have time, but you layer that thought I don't have time, I'm in a rush, I don't have time, I'm in a bad rush.
Speaker 2:So, again, if you're talking about being present, you have to deal with your headspace before you open your gob. I know there are times when I do this. I've got 36 things going on in my head and I will use a certain tone of voice to say stop and listen to me, I'll say what I've got to say. And then I'm present in the moment, but probably not as present as I should be. Right, because we're time poor.
Speaker 2:But in the workplace, certainly if you're managing any human being in any way, shape or form, or providing service for that matter if you are able to take that split second to actually tell yourself I am going to listen. And I think the trick is that it's the next bit that you say in your head I am going to listen because I am going to learn something that is going to move this boat forward. Yes, whatever the situation is and that's actually the Willy Wonka golden ticket in this that nine times out of ten, if you stop and you really listen, you will see a risk, you will solve a problem, you will see it from a different angle.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is perspective, isn't it a lot of the time because you're coming in with one perspective until and often there's an underlying thing that you may not be aware of?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the way in which you can confirm to somebody that you are listening is by asking a question. How simple is that is that the question?
Speaker 2:well, it's sorry. We all more than like we actually need to be listened to, your mental health and your sense of self. It's not on added extra. If you manage human beings, it's a fundamental that the people you manage believe, by the evidence of the way that you communicate with them, that you are listened to doesn't necessarily mean you'd agreed with right. Yeah, it's a very different thing. But if you have a conversation at work, you know both you and I between us we've got 60-odd years of working under our belts. Yeah, how many times have you had a difficult, challenging conversation but because you believed that you were listened to, you came out feeling okay, yeah, yeah, I've got the answer you want yeah I mean, one of our kids wanted had a chat with me and said look, my mom, you know this.
Speaker 2:This, this isn't right at work. Da da, da, ddd. And I said look, we'll speak to the managers, speak to the more senior people. I said, but don't do it in. Uh, here's my list of things. Whatever, ask for a cup of coffee, sit down and just have a chat about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because there's an art to that. Yes, that you don't make everything bigger than Ben-Hur, right? Can you explain to me? This is how I'm feeling. This is what's happening for me, whatever. Anyway, long story short, given that I do this for a living Right, this particular child of ours went and had this conversation with somebody quite senior up in the organization, who sat there, who clearly didn't listen, who talked over, who belittled everything that was being said, then had the gall that's the word I want to use today gall to say leave it with. Leave it with me, I'll sort it all right and I'll be back with you within the next few days after I've got a plan.
Speaker 1:It didn't happen.
Speaker 2:Well, the first thing our child said to me when he rang me to set up a conversation was before. I tell you what was said Mum, I don't believe a word, right. Yeah, right, and this happens so often, and that's I mean. That is exactly an example, right.
Speaker 1:It happens so many places, up and down, every country, every organisation.
Speaker 2:And I'll turn that even further, right. I mean, as you, you know, predominantly I'm working with senior leaders, not always right, but I'm working with senior leaders and that's really the fundamental that differentiates them the ones that will sit down and talk to you and listen to you, not take on all your problems and solve your word for me. For you, that's not humanly possible.
Speaker 2:But the ones that listen without a shadow of a doubt, yeah, have a highly functioning, much more commercially worth human beings around them who lean in and make shit happen at work yeah, yeah you know I can't, I can't overstate it enough, but literally, whoever you're leading, whatever you're doing, if you sit there and truly listen and they feel and believe that you have listened, that's how you get people to put a ladle of extra that they aren't paid for, that they want to lean in, that they feel listened to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Because these 20, 30-year-olds, they're not going to stick around, are they? If they don't feel that they're being?
Speaker 2:listened to. Well, look, I'm reluctant to be dragged down that rabbit hole. You know these 30-year-olds.
Speaker 1:Well, they won't put up and those 60-year-olds who can't listen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:Right, so don't. It's about your emotional intelligence and it's about how you learn to A find your voice, to put your hand up, to ask for guidance and help, but, more importantly, understanding that you might not be able to pay anybody anymore, you might not be able to promote them, you might not be able to give them the training, you might not be able to do any of the things that somebody is asking for you, but if they felt listened to and they feel that their concerns had there was an integrity in the way in which you held that conversation, then you create a culture. Yeah, yeah, listening is a culture. You know, when people say work cultures, right, I mean, it's lovely if you've got all the extra stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but fundamentally, just a healthy working culture is being listened to.
Speaker 1:I'm listening, oh, you are. So I think, because we started off talking about this, about being present, and it's come down to basically that idea of listening and honing in on something, and it doesn't have to be overbearing or anything of that nature, it's just a case of as if you feel like you're in the same space, you just you're gonna laugh at that, right, but I have on occasion, probably more than once, thinking it now probably into double digits.
Speaker 2:There have been times over the last 30 years, I have said to people, whether they were five years old or 75 years old, I have literally said to help you stop the spinning in your head and to actually listen to what's going on. Yes, think of literally. You're giving somebody a present before you open your mouth. Right, giving you a present, and the present I'm giving you is that I am opening my ears to listen to you. Yeah, it's just enough that, because we all learn in different ways, there's different things that resonate. Yeah, but when you stop and you think for a moment I'm going to give this person a present, I am going to give them my presence, I am going to stop, the whole world is going to stop and I am going to be there and listen.
Speaker 1:Excellent, oh, thanks. Well, I hope that's going to stop and I am going to be there and listen. Excellent, well, thanks. Well, I hope that's going to be very useful to everyone out there, because I think that Again, let me tell you that there isn't a switch. There isn't, it's not you know Well, there isn't a listening switch. No, okay.
Speaker 2:It is. You have to learn how to do it and you do it bit by bit by bit. So what I would say is start with having a conversation and listening and actually identify that you are listening. And then reflecting back what the other person is actually saying. If your awareness they call it in coaching psychology, I believe, but certainly call it in coaching it is below the line listening.
Speaker 2:you're not listening just to the you are truly present in the way that you're listening, because in my world it's it's as much what people don't say as they do say and I have to hear that another side of it, though, where you have.
Speaker 2:I have to, yeah, but I have to hear that that's my job to listen there. I have to hear that that's my job to listen there. I have to listen at a level that I can hear what's not being said, and my job is to make somebody feel safe in that moment, and I don't know anything that's more profound than somebody truly believing that you are listening to them.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much.
Speaker 2:Join us next time on Big Questions Short with sean jacquet and me, andy if you have any questions you want to ask, please send them via the website sean jacquetcom if you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and share it with everyone you know we really do appreciate you sharing 15 minutes with us and if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to Sian's website siiansjackaycom.
Speaker 1:There's a course on values to create life you truly love. I did it and it really does do what it says on the can.
Speaker 2:See you next time.
