Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
(Feat, Andy's unsolicited advice.)
What are the things that make life, relationships, business and the big picture work?
Andy asks Sian, his wife, these big questions. And with a humorous, light-hearted touch, in 10-15 minutes they will discuss the things that really matter and find short answers to bring us all success and happiness.
Sian is a much sought-after international executive coach, board member and keynote speaker who promotes living and working a values-based life to gain happiness and success. Andy is her husband of 35 years, and the ying to her yang, So the conversation is honest, real and funny.
“I hope you'll be entertained. I hope you have a little smile. And I hope every now and again there will be a thought that you refilter in your head and think: Okay, that resonated.” - Sian Jaquet
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love
Big Questions, Short Answers with Sian Jaquet
Big Question | How can we be truly present in our daily lives? Ep 16
Ever feel like life's just a series of chaotic pit stops? Join us as we unravel the art of being present in both your personal and professional life. In this episode of Big Questions Short Answers, Sian and her husband Andy dive into the hilarious yet eye-opening reality of balancing family life while genuinely connecting with those around you. Sian, with her background in acting and coaching, spills the beans on how active listening can transform relationships, while Andy candidly shares his struggles with staying tuned in without an agenda. Get ready to laugh, learn, and rethink how you engage with others.
You'll hear us chat about everything from the frustrations of feeling unheard to the little moments that make a world of difference. We discuss how fleeting interactions can sometimes feel like high-speed pit stops and the effort it takes to truly be present. Whether you're trying to improve communication at home or at work, this episode is packed with practical advice and amusing anecdotes to help you master the art of genuine attention. So tune in and discover how to make others feel valued and significant—one heartfelt conversation at a time.
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love.
www.sianjaquet.com
Whatever you like, just do what you've got it in. Okay, Welcome to Big Questions. Short Answers I'm Sian.
Speaker 2:Hello, I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life questions.
Speaker 1:And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited advice.
Speaker 2:Maybe this podcast is brought to you by Sian's value-based online course. Visit sianjackeycom to find out more. I'm going to kick this one off, and it's a subject that you talk about regularly, whether it's to do with the home life or whether it's to do with work life, and it's about being present. Um, and I just sort of want to understand being present. Look, you be strange. Uh, being present, what that means to you, or or or what it means to me, in fact, that's the nerve.
Speaker 1:What does it mean to you? You're right, I do use it quite often. Well, turn it around then. When do you think I use it when I say that thing, when I say to you stop talking and be present?
Speaker 2:Yeah, sometimes it's quite difficult. I mean sometimes and I think that's also a case for people at work and at home about what it is about being present. It's like, yeah, I'm here, what do you want? Yeah, I'm here, what do you want? Okay, look the ABCs of being present is listening, Right right.
Speaker 1:The times I get aggravated with you is if we're sitting talking discussing something and we're not even into red mist conversation, just even normal conversations.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't like the red mist.
Speaker 1:We'll have to tell anybody who doesn't. There are times you get there, mate. My point is that being present is an active thing to do. That's how I learned to do it. You needed to be to actually consciously. Am I really listening, or am I doing and I'm just gonna so enjoy saying this? Am I opening my mouth and saying things or am I thinking, as you're talking, of how I'm going to respond and how I get my agenda across?
Speaker 1:I'm not really listening to you and it's that moment when you know that the person you're talking to isn't really listening.
Speaker 2:Because you trained well. You trained twice, as an actress and also as a coach. So obviously I imagine listening is quite important in both of those skills.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't know anything else that makes somebody feel valued, um significant. All of those. Yeah, there is nothing more powerful than somebody actually knowing by what's happening in the moment, but actually feeling like they're being listened to, and that is what it means to be present. Yeah it doesn't just mean arrive with your hand up. Hello, I'm here, right, I sign in.
Speaker 2:Am I putting on my listening face now?
Speaker 1:You're being a sardy bastard.
Speaker 2:Okay, but no, I'm serious, it's important. That is important in terms of the ability to listen and not think to yourself I've got an agenda I want to push through. Actually, how you stop yourself from thinking, oh, this is what I want to do next.
Speaker 1:I mean, you just answered the question, but it's quite hard. It's not something that you can just flick a switch and suddenly, oh, I'm now going to be present all the time. You know it comes down to the big values, like having an integrity in your relationship with somebody. So if you're talking in a personal life, yeah, and I think that you know when when you've got kids and work and life, and you know that there are times in our lives when it's like, dear god, you and to you and I, being able to actually have a conversation was nothing more than a pit stop and that's what it used to feel. Like Formula One, pit stop, like it's come in, we've got to sort all of this out. You can make that noise again. I like that. No, no, no, exactly. It's exactly what it's like. You know that we had a pit stop to solve stuff and you are genuinely Not very good at listening.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Unless it's a subject that you're in control of or you need some answers. Yeah, you will answer me a question, like you did this morning about the wooden floor. I've had an idea. This is how right, this is the problem. And I said well, yes, that is one of the problems, but there's this, that and the other.
Speaker 2:As soon as you just launched into you didn't let me finish what I was saying. Actually, I would argue that you were present there. But to start with but far be it from me, yeah, say that the 36th conversation about a wooden floor that just needs replacing.
Speaker 1:You are still going around in circles trying to find a way of doing it and I think you know I've seen this before. I've been on this radio. So yeah, come back to it. Being present, it is an active thing to listen. It's very interesting because if you read books and you dive into the psychology of how to bring up a whole and healthy human being, if you're a parent, or how to work with people in a, you know when you're in a working environment, as I keep saying, you know you go to a library and there's rows of books on it. Or you can put the computer on and there's 30 000 things that will tumble out to tell you how to do it. But fundamentally, the most powerful skill you can have is learning to listen oh, it's not easy, is it really?
Speaker 2:well, you think, mean for this time that we have let's just talk about from a personal relationship when have you seen it not working? Because sometimes that's the best way to see how it works.
Speaker 1:Living with you. What do you say when does it not work? I mean, are you actually aware of how I approach things with you? If I want to have a very real conversation with you, that is important. I'll say, right, sit down, look at my face and I will literally say to you Andy, are you listening? I need you to listen, and even then, sometimes you find it hard.
Speaker 2:Well it is, isn't it Because I'm not alone? I don't think, Isn't it Because I'm not alone? I don't think that, in terms of people having a need to have their voice heard and a case of trying to actively suppress that, to listen more intently and they're looking at me with their nodding More intently, to actually, I suppose, ultimately, you might in fact get your point across in a clearer way I'm going to say two things.
Speaker 1:One is frame it, before you start a conversation, that you're going to say something you want somebody to listen to. Okay, um, and again, this doesn't have to be monumental, sit down, I'm about to give you information that's going to blow your world apart. It can be as basic as me saying to you if I have to wipe out the sink again because you've left your spit after you've cleaned your teeth in there, let go of it. Well, I noticed that this morning I'm gonna stick a fork in your face, but it's when you want somebody to really listen. So you start by framing it, saying you know, I need five minutes of your time, I need two minutes of your time. I need, I need to have a chat about something, I need to share something with you. That's it the one, very basic, and I know it sounds easy, but just try and do that for a week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the onus actually is not necessarily on the person that's not really listening. The onus is on the person that is wanting to have that conversation. For that person to be present is to actually, as you say, create a framework in which to say okay, I've got something important to say and we need to just stop for a moment. Yeah, so that's number one. Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 1:Number two is, as you're having the conversation, if you're the person that's talking to somebody, you're oh God, I do. I'm sitting there looking at your face. I don't want to be a man having this conversation. The second thing to do is to ask that person a couple of times in that conversation. Reflect back to me what you're hearing me say.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I mean, there have been moments so many where I have actually literally said that to you. Andy, tell me what I've just said and you look at me as if I'm speaking Swahili, because you have learned the art of tuning out and your face may be animated and twitching and I might even get a little bit of eye contact with the ears on. So reflect back. That's another way, and if you really want to start creating a belief that you are working on listening as a skill, then ask somebody after you've had the conversation how does it make you feel?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Because, when you are listened to, when you are truly listened to and, as I say, please don't go off the Richter scale to massive conversations. There might even be little conversations, right, but when you are truly listened to, it is the most wonderful feeling in the world.
Speaker 2:This is a skill, really, that you need to work on, because that works within relationships, it works within your work, it works across the board, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and it's you know. You're on the first few ladders steps of emotional intelligence, aren't you? You know, emotionally intelligent people have the skill to listen.
Speaker 2:Well, we're going to leave that there as a thought. We might come back to that as we Hold on, shall we? Join us next time on Big Questions. Short Answers with Sian Jacquet and me, andy.
Speaker 1:If you have any questions you want to ask, please send them via the website. If you have any questions you want to ask, please send them via the website shansjackeycom.
Speaker 2:If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and share it with everyone you know.
Speaker 1:We really do appreciate you sharing 15 minutes with us.
Speaker 2:And if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to Shans' website shansjackeycom. There's a course on values to create the life you truly love. I did it and it really does do what it says on the can.
Speaker 1:See you next time.
