Big Question | Why do we seek self-improvement? Ep15

Why do we really seek self-improvement? Can personal responsibility be the key to lasting change? Join us on "Big Questions. Short Answers." as Sian and Andy, a seasoned coach with 26 years of experience, unravel the mysteries behind self-development. From those who live a life of continuous growth to those who only seek change in moments of crisis, this episode will shed light on what truly motivates people to transform their lives.

Discover the pivotal role personal responsibility plays in achieving significant transformations. Andy shares his insights on why looking inward and taking ownership of our mind, body, and emotional well-being can set the foundation for lifelong growth. Perfect for both self-improvement veterans and those facing tough times, this episode is packed with valuable advice and practical steps to embark on the journey toward a better you. Tune in for an enlightening discussion that could be your first step toward meaningful self-development.

For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love.

www.sianjaquet.com

Transcript

Andy: 0:00

I've been wanting to ask this for a while.

Sian: 0:05

Welcome to Big Questions. Short Answers. I'm Sian.

Andy: 0:08

Hello, I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life questions.

Sian: 0:13

And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited advice.

Andy: 0:16

Maybe this podcast is brought to you by Sian's value-based online course. Visit sianjackeycom to find out more. Right, so today we're going to be asking about self-development. Obviously, there's a plethora of stuff around in terms of self-development. You know from your Tony Robbins and you know all the way through. I just you know there's so much of it. What is this big question? Big, you know like, yeah, I like big, broad questions. The secret of self-development. What is that? Why are you laughing at me? But it just I don't know. If people are looking to, looking to improve themselves, people, let's talk about you. No, no, no, talking about me. We're not talking about me, but it's like. It's like you know the secret of self-development. What's the?

Sian: 1:07

Well, why do people do it? Why? Let's start with that?

Andy: 1:09

Yeah, let's start with that. That's a good idea.

Sian: 1:11

Right. Why do people do it?

Andy: 1:12

Yeah. Again, in my experience there are Because you've been coaching for quite a long time.

Sian: 1:18

Better part of 26 years. There are people and they're probably in a much smaller minority whose beliefs and life experience is like a heartbeat of learning, growing, feeding the mind, challenging the body. You know all, you know, you know what I mean. That kind of there is a.

Andy: 1:39

Physical work.

Sian: 1:40

A consistent focus on self in what would be termed in our society, I suppose, quite a healthy way. Yes, I mean, nobody's going to argue the basic premise of use it or lose it. So your brain, your muscles, you know, developing group of people whose value, base and beliefs create an entire lifetime of where they seek to have that self-development all the time.

Sian: 2:11

Okay, the vast majority of people I've met, including myself and including you, we normally knock on the door of self-development when there's a crisis. Yes, yeah, be it physical, emotional, practical, in the journey of life. Yeah, and I suppose the job I do as a coach that in a lot of ways, I meet people when they're at that space.

Andy: 2:37

In a crisis.

Sian: 2:38

Yeah, well, you can call it crisis, but yes, but they know I can't stay like I am because I'm not happy or whatever it is is not working. I might be not happy and it might be much higher on that scale yeah, that I'm actually very frightened, or unsafe, or whatever. We all, I think, get to a point at some point one day in our lives and we think is this it, what can I do to make myself better, to make this situation better? Well, that is what self-development is, and in the world of sean, it's about taking that first step into self-responsibility okay, yeah, yeah, that you are responsible, yeah, for your mind, yeah, your physical health your emotional self, your relationships.

Sian: 3:21

Yeah, I'll hold them nine yards. Personal response is a big thing for you. What responsible, yeah, for your mind? Yeah, your physical health, your emotional self, your relationships? Yeah, a whole damn nine yards personal response is a big thing for you what I actually believe and what I actually say to the people I work with is that it's about taking responsibility for yourself.

Andy: 3:36

That, to me, is the first step in self-development because a lot of people blame everything that's around them.

Sian: 3:44

Yeah, my mother, my education, the politics, my parents, my life, lack of money, lack of opportunity, the weather, you know. So if you want to take responsibility for yourself, for the journey of self-development, the first thing is it is about a responsibility.

Andy: 4:00

Right.

Sian: 4:02

I'm sure there's people who would argue with me that that's not right, but anyway, it's how I'm thinking, certainly how I'm thinking today. And then, if that's the why we do it, because we find ourselves in a moment of time where we want something to change about the world we live in and who we are and how we do it what you you do again depends on your beliefs and your wisdom and your experience and usually what you've also seen role modelled. If I look at in my most recent sort of last two to three years of work, one of the areas which I think most people will be able to identify with is work I've started doing. In that space of self-development, of being in work, yes, in that professional working environment.

Sian: 4:50

Pre-covid there were very real conversations. Post-covid it's there out on bloody table. It's like a bloody smorgasbord of issues of what do employees want, how do you look after them, how do you provide a culture. You know all of those things that you know. Everybody's talking about self-development in that space, I suppose, is where my head has been a lot to do with, and, and it's fundamentally about your professional self. Who do you choose to be?

Sian: 5:20

right and that, to me, is self-development. Yeah, who am? Who am I in a working environment? And how do I contribute to create an integrity for the contractual agreement I have with somebody who's paying me to do a job? Yeah, and how do I develop within that environment? Because there is absolutely no question in my mind that the days of anybody being employed anywhere Right, and this is the job you're doing, and we just want you to do that job and nothing else for the next 20 years right, you've got to engage with somebody.

Sian: 5:56

Yeah, in the heart and the head yeah and that kind of opportunity for self-development which, again, you'd call career development, you'd call training, all the rest of it. I mean, I'm talking about careers, I'm not talking about personal life now, but that is a space that I think employers, companies, be them large or small, you can no longer body swerve that. You need to get your head around. How do I support this person to develop within that role? And to me, as you know, one of the things I do and I have to say it doesn't just from my head but from my heart it is an extraordinary privilege to sit there and do a workshop with people on your professional core values and see light bulbs going off right, left and center and a sense of being and responsibility and understanding, because, again, you know what I'm like.

Andy: 6:52

Well, it's not I mean, it's like. I mean in some ways I wish I wished you know some of this has been around when I was more in the corporate world, because fine fuck some of those.

Sian: 7:02

That is the language that offends people.

Andy: 7:05

Some of those companies that I've worked, yeah, some of those companies that I worked for, gee, they did not, you know, they never really embraced you.

Sian: 7:15

They were abusive.

Andy: 7:16

It was an abusive situation.

Sian: 7:18

Yeah, I'm paying you and I will run you ragged until you're broken and then I'll disregard you and I'll get another one. Yeah, dreadful. I mean you worked in the media world and if you know the last 20 years. I've done a lot of work in the media and they are right up there with what I call the churn and burn culture. Yeah, yeah, because you've got a whole line of people who want to be involved in it.

Andy: 7:43

So what we're saying in terms of you know why, bother with self-development, it's that.

Sian: 7:48

Self-responsibility, yeah, and also creative resilience, right. When you do work on self-development, be it professional or personal or whatever area right? What you are doing is you are adding another ladle of resilience because you've got a bit more learning about yourself.

Andy: 8:05

So when that wave of pressure that happens in life, you have got some experience in standing still and evaluating and not catastrophizing and also, if I'd done a bit more self-development when I was younger, I think I wouldn't have stayed in selling companies because they didn't meet my values. Yeah, in terms of their.

Sian: 8:25

Well, you were a classic example and we could write a book about Self-abuse. Well, it was, and it's because you have such firmly held values, yes, that they turned in on you.

Andy: 8:38

Yeah, yeah. Their loyalty turned in on me, didn't?

Sian: 8:39

it yeah.

Andy: 8:40

But it's good to know, and so you know. I suppose that's why this whole industry has built up in terms of self-development. But there is a You're responsible for yourself.

Sian: 8:51

You know, one of the reasons I believe that it's grown is part of the fact it's accessibility, part of the fact that we as a society and when I say we, you understand that I'm very well aware of the fact how privileged we are within our society. We have knowledge, we have learning, we have access to that development in how human beings are thinking. And again it comes down to the nuggets, doesn't it of? Actually, your mum and dad aren't going to look after you all your life. Actually, society isn't going to be there to hold your hand when you trip.

Sian: 9:25

Actually, if you want to be a grown-up, if you want to be a whole and healthy, safe human being in society, you need to learn pretty damn fast how to look after yourself. And how do you do that? Through self-development, because you will make different choices, different ideas, different beliefs when you are independently doing it for yourself, rather than just following what the crowd says and hopefully the people that are listening are already on this journey well, you'd you'd like to think so, but I, and I have to say this when it comes to self-development and learning, there's a lot of crap.

Sian: 10:04

Horrified is an understatement when I'm watching Fox News, or you know and I don't want to make my life all about him and I know he's polarising but this man has, he's got the values of an alley cat and that's being disrespectful to an alley cat. The man is dishonest in every level. He doesn't have values, and yet people will vote for him and move forward. Why, I think? Because they believe he'll give them more money, and maybe he will, but at what cost? Because the soul of the nation is being eradicated.

Sian: 10:40

Anyway, shut up, sean.

Andy: 10:41

Yeah, well, leave it there. That was brilliant. I'm going to cut that bit out, okay, bye, bye, join us next time on Big Questions. Short Answers with Sian Jaquet and me, andy.

Sian: 10:55

If you have any questions you want to ask, please send them via the website shansjackeycom.

Andy: 11:01

If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and share it with everyone you know.

Sian: 11:06

We really do appreciate you sharing 15 minutes with us.

Andy: 11:10

And if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to Sian's website sianjaquet. com. There's a course on values to create life you truly love. I did it and it really does do what it says on the. Can See you next time.